Noooooo. No, no, no, no, no. I’m going to go ahead and assume this is a cry for help!
Lemme tell you some facts contradictory to yaoi sex ed:
1. No does NOT mean yes.
2. Even the third time. No, ESPECIALLY the third time. Back the fuck up!
3. Lubrication is required to penetrate the anus.
4. Saliva is not adequate lubrication.
5. The anus must be stretched open prior to penetration. Fingers work.
6. Unless you’ve recently exited the bowels and have a nice fibrous diet and solid stool, OR have used an anal douche prior to sex (and not right before, or it could get irritated), there might be fecal matter pulled out during sex. Not super hot.
7. …which is a great reason for condoms! Which should be used for every anal encounter.
8….including analingus! Because…fecal bateria! In mouth! Not so great.
9. The average amount of ejaculate is about a teaspoon. NOT A GALLON.
10. Hair. It exists on the body. Around the pubic area, under arms, even sometimes *gasp* on CHESTS.
Point: Most of what you’ve learned about sex is not from yaoi, because you have not learned anything about sex from yaoi. Please, fangirls and boys! Keep yourself and your partners safe and educated. Basing your sexual expectations off of yaoi is a surefire way to ruin your sex life!
Disclaimer: I love yaoi as much as the next guy, and I understand that it is fantasy, and realistic sexual facts detract from the fantasy, and so they are excluded. I don’t care about that (I expect that!), I just really, really want to make sure yaoi fans know the difference!
(Feel free to add to the list if you reblog, btw. I didn’t even get to facts about nipples.)
Remember, consent is sexy!